Posted By Denise Miller Holmes on Monday
Savvy Article #1106
Shredding another’s heart is how some people feel good about themselves. Unfortunately, I’ve been around too many people who think my heart is perfect fodder to boost their self-esteem.
In My Grief and Betrayal, I told of my one-year recovery from the greatest and most devastating rejection in my adult life. I was finding even fond memories about that person too painful to keep.
Even the authority I had gone to for solace and wisdom disbelieved my story and blamed me.But healing comes from mysterious places, and at the time of this writing, I have been healing through the love and compassion of a group of Christian writers who meet regularly, and who know how to care for each other like God cares for us.
In modern Christian culture, we often forget that we are supposed to be part of each other’s worlds. But the dynamic of group healing is taught in the Bible.
[N]ot forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near. Hebrew 10:25
Bear one another’s burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 5:26-6:2
And be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32.
Confess your faults one to each other, and pray for each other, that you may be healed. The effective fervent prayer of a righteous man accomplishes much. James 5:16
God intends churches to be made of tenderhearted, encouraging Christians. We are supposed to be acting much like therapy groups—listening to each other’s pains, supporting each other in prayer, encouraging each other when we are rejected or brutalized, affirming and validating each other, and being patient with each other’s flaws.
When Christians practice this biblical model, an amazing thing happens—people heal. And people grow, and people find courage, and people change the world.
Christian fellowship is supposed to be active. Ice cream socials do not heal, amassing in large impersonal groups week after week does not heal, and overloading our schedules with Christian duties does not heal.
But loving, open, honest, trusting relationships DO heal.
July will mark the 3-year anniversary of my grief and betrayal. My heart is no longer in shreds. I am not at the change-the-world stage yet, but it’s in sight.
You may also like: My Grief and Betrayal.